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We sat as a family on December 25th inside my sister and her husband’s newly purchased country home. My Grandmother, Dorthy, at 100 years old took the gift I had got her and stared it down. Days prior I was … Continue reading
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Asking For My Squirrel By Heidi Ferrer This is not a pretty story at all, so look away if you’re faint of heart. Also look away if you’re against masturbation, because I agree with the famous quote by Woody Allen … Continue reading
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A Road Trip To Forget The beginning of any relationship is always most fragile. I don’t think people hide who they are as much as they try to ease the other person into it. I truly believe there are things … Continue reading
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Everyone Has A Talent Its amazing how everyone wants to find that “special someone” but most are afraid to go there. You know, to that horrible, vulnerable place. The “I don’t want him to know that I live in the … Continue reading
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The GoodBye I see him across the courtyard and I smile. It is him… Yes? No. It looks exactly like him and nothing like him all at once. Then his lip curls up when he smiles back at me. It’s … Continue reading
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You can’t make this stuff up. Unless you’re super religious. In which case, just about everything you believe in is made up. So there’s that. In any case, someone on my Facebook posted this picture: That’s about the dumbest fuckin … Continue reading
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1. Breaking Eclipses Twilight Dawn Electric Boogaloo 2 – $43.6 million This movie is about an arm wrestling competition. If the stoic bitch wins, Jacob has to fuck some wolf pussy and stop going after babies. If the guy who … Continue reading
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Macaroni Monstrosities, Mom’s and Mexico My Mother, I’m quite certain, will never read this post. I hope. It’s fairly safe to say she’d be mortified, horrified, embarrassed, and humiliated. Let’s continue, shall we? Each and every one of us has … Continue reading
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Steering Wheel Whether it’s at 9 and 3, 10 and 2, or at high noon like most of us asshats, we’ve all gripped one. As kids we climbed behind it, recklessly turning it side to side, pretending to drive away … Continue reading
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Your Mom Thought It Was Funny The average person won’t tell you when they think something you said was funny. They will smile, laugh, share your jokes with friends, and anticipate more. They will use your words in situations and … Continue reading
