This gallery contains 7 photos.
1. Think Like A Man – $17.6 million Fuck Chris Brown and fuck these assholes for putting him in a movie. That’s what this movie is about. Me hating the fact Chris Brown is in it for a good two … Continue reading
This gallery contains 1 photo.
These two bitches. The super terrible “Hot Girl Problems” has blown up and gone viral. It’s over 8 million views, which is the only reason why I’m posting this. This is the new Internet sensation. A music video where two … Continue reading
I’m gonna tie a live butterfly to my exposed boner and let him pull me around town tomorrow. It’s gonna be so fuckin’ beautiful.
Fucking someones brains out isn’t as easy as you might think, guys. Those things are really in there.
Kudos to the 6 year old kid who eats his own shit for inventing wooden wind chimes.
Just came up with a crazy new man-shake! Fist pounds, hand slides and everything. It takes 17 seconds but we’ll be best friends when its done.
Get hit in the fucking face with a softball and I promise you that you’ll question it’s softness.
What do you get when you cross the Tupac hologram hysteria and two broke bitches from TLC?
Yep. A tour.
TLC has announced that they will be going on tour and deceased member Left Eye (the only one that 100% looked like a girl even though she was the “hardcore” one) is going with them.
They will incorporate her lyrics and bangin’ raps along with prompters (TLC can’t afford holograms, guys. C’mon) and set out in hopes that the world wants to hear “Waterfalls” live.
Desperate.
Fowler is an English glamour model. That’s pretty much all I know of her? She apparently just separated from a “famous football” player, but it’s probably Soccer.
Soccer sucks.
Throw her name in Google and have a fun 10 minutes.
You’re welcome.
Just bought a Bald Eagle and named it Bruce Willis ’cause it drinks Wine Coolers like a bad ass.
I don’t mean to burst your guys’ bubble, but you’re not surrounded by fuckin’ bubbles .. and if you were, you chose a super shitty force field.
The only way I’d watch Hockey is if they lit the ice on fire and said, “You have 20 minutes. Win or lose, you’re all drowning.”
If you really wanna fuck with a kids emotions … take away the controller and hand ‘em a pencil.
Crows are the Fran Drescher of birds.
There are two reasons I’m pissed off that Katy Perry already has a new boyfriend.
1. The sanctity of marriage is a fucking joke. How anyone (and especially celebrities) move on to a new partner after being married for years, this quick, truly disturbs me.
2. I now have to wait even longer for my turn. Boobs.
She was at Coachella with some guitarist guy from the band Florence Henderson And The Time Machines (or some shit like that, I dunno).
He looks like a zombie. I’m going to start calling him The Albino Lurch.
Fuck that guy for getting to stick those boobs in his mouth.
Fuck that guy.
I also want to be clear on something. Katy Perry’s music sucks. I hate it and the entire gimmick that goes along with it.
But she is ditsy fuckable hot and I love her tits.
The end.
The first round of the 2012 NFL DRAFT kicks off tonight at 5pm. I doubt any of you fuck sticks care, but I’ll be posting all 7 rounds Saturday evening.
I like alcohol, jokes, pussy, and sports.
I’m a guy. Fuck off.
I was playing Modern Warfare 3 today and I heard someone in the lobby bitch about K/D ratios and places in the lobby leaderboard. That’s when it occurred to me that bragging about being the top spot in the lobby leaderboard, as well as bragging about being able to “quick-scope” are prime examples of how you can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
Here’s to you, fellow CoD players.
Follow DM on Twitter @DarkMessiahNF (he love you long time)
This gallery contains 3 photos.
1. The Hunger Games – $21 million Four weeks in a row at number one, so I’ll have to explain to you again, what the movie is about. So here it goes … Look how Goddamn big Lenny Kravitz’ fucking … Continue reading
