Monthly Archives: June 2011

JFK Flights Delayed Due To Turtles

HEADLINE: “Travelers trying to leave New York City from JFK Airport were delayed after 150 turtles got on the runway and prevented planes from taking off.” What have the “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” been doing the last 10 years? Breeding.

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Censorship On The Rise

After going on an “I’m Sorry” tour for making fun of gay people at his last comedy show, Tracy Morgan once again took the stage. Homeboy is in trouble again. Now he’s in hot water for making fun of retarded … Continue reading

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The Evil Magical Extinction of Wiener Bars

In a recent article, Gay Bars are slowly disappearing. The main reason is thought to be the vastly growing social acceptance of the ‘gay lifestyle’ in American communities … And .. that is .. exactly … what he WANTS YOU … Continue reading

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Michael Jackson’s Jacket Is Worth More Than Your Life

Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” jacket just sold for 1.8 million dollars. I have two jackets. Their combined value is about $50 bucks. Granted, I don’t have 78 zippers on mine, but my tits stay warm in the winter time. A Werewolf/Zombie … Continue reading

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Dead Beat Dad

MSNBC analyst Mark Halperin is in some hot water because he thinks the President is a dick. He thought there was a 7 second time delay, and the foul mouthed, inappropriate, vulgar and insensitive analyst .. called OUR President .. … Continue reading

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Country Diva vs Hispanic Diva

Shania Twain wants to butt fuck Jennifer Lopez out of a job. Steven Tyler has already signed on for a second season of “American Idol”. Randy Jackson will obviously be back because “Dawg” aint got shit to do. Jennifer Lopez … Continue reading

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Brains. It’s What’s For Dinner.

“Fagilyu Mukhametzyanov, 49, had been wrongly declared deceased by doctors but died for real after hearing mourners saying prayers for her soul to be taken up to heaven in Kazan, Russia.” Yep. A lady in Russia was declared dead. Fucking … Continue reading

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A Sign of the Upcoming Apocolypse

Katy Perry is on the verge of tying Michael Jackson’s record for most number one singles from one album, on the Billboard top 100 chart. When her piece of shit song, “Last Friday Night”, (or whatever the fuck it’s called) … Continue reading

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Moby Asshole

A 13 year old boy recently survived a vicious whale attack. Apparently, this whale, knowingly took aim to this fuckin’ kid who was minding his own business out at sea looking for a fishing spot. The whale shot his ass … Continue reading

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