I’m a “people”, and I’ve never been asked once to cast a vote. Neither has anyone I’ve ever met in my entire life.
I’m white. I declare this reverse-racism. I’m not sure how that would work, but I don’t know what else to pin it on. Seems to work for everyone else.
Here are the list of winners, from mostly horrible or non-plot driven movies. I will add a few thoughts to each, as well.
FAVORITE MOVIE: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
Outside of 15 year old kids, I have never read nor heard of a single person say that Harry Potter was their favorite movie. The people who were sought out to vote for this category all work at Disneyland.
FAVORITE CABLE TV COMEDY: Hot In Cleveland
I’ve never seen this show, so I can’t really bag on it. I know that Betty White is adorable and appeals to all ages .. so even if this show is undeserving, I’m okay with giving her the chance to get onstage and speak. People who were sought to vote for this category are all Sandra Bullock fans.
FAVORITE MOVIE ACTOR: Johnny Depp
Johnny Depp didn’t have a single quality movie in 2011 or 12. The 11th instalment in the “Pirates” franchise did huge numbers, but it was 5 hours long and terrible. The Tourist sucked, too. People who were sought to vote on this category all still masturbate to Teen magazine photos from 21 Jump Street.
FAVORITE MOVIE ACTRESS: Emma Stone
I am okay with this one. She’s hot and funny and she picks good projects to work in. People who were sought to vote in this category watch a lot of okay mainstream films.
FAVORITE TV COMPETITION SHOW: American Idol
I can’t believe this is even a fuckin’ category.
FAVORITE TV CRIME DRAMA: Castle
I’ve never seen it. I like Nathan Fillon, though. Good for him. People who voted on this only watch shows about Cops, Lawyers and Doctors. That pretty much covers every drama on t.v.
FAVORITE MOVIE ICON: Morgan Freeman
Okay. This is where I’d like to call foul. There is NO WAY the same dipshits that voted Harry Potter 19 the best movie, voted for Morgan Freeman as a movie Icon. There is most definitley some coruption within’ this awards show for ratings.
FAVORITE SCIFI/FANTASY SHOW: Supernatural
Everyone knows that “One Tree Hill” should have won this award. There is no way that much shit goes down in a small town in 9 years. Fantasy. People who voted in this category watch Twilight 5 times a day.
FAVORITE DAYTIME TV HOST: Ellen DeGeneres
She’s super popular. Can’t argue this pick. When she dances I get anxiety and throw coffee mugs at my television. I go through a lot of televisions.
I’m already over this. Here are the rest of the winners.
Harry Potter 7.2 (again)
Hugh Jackmon (robot movie)
Water For Elephants (unbelievable)
Adam Sandler (your shitting me)
Emma Stone (again)
Katy Perry (nice boobs)
Kim Kardashian (sign of the apocalypse)
Chloe Moretz (to young to make fun of)
Person of Interest (katy perry has nice boobs)
2 Broke Girls (Kat Dennings had nice boobs)
Harry Potter 7.2 (fuck already)
Johnny Depp (won an award for favorite voice .. uhhh)
Bruno Mars (okay)
Katy Perry (again, nice boobs)
Ryan Reynolds (movie sucked but girls want his weiner)
Harry Potter 7.2 (AGAIN!)
Look the rest up your fuckin’ self.
The People’s Choice Awards just stooped to MTV’s level.