Jared From Subway, Meet Stacey From McDonalds

Stacey Irvine is a 17 year old British factory worker. She was recently rushed to the hospital after collapsing and struggling to breathe.

Ms. Irvine has been on a steady diet of nothing but McDonalds Chicken McNuggets since she was two years old.

Doctors were stunned to discover that she had never in her life had a fruit or vegetable hit the pit of her stomach.

Her mother, Evonne Irvine, blamed the whole fuckin’ thing on her daughter.

She claims that since she was two, she loved McNuggets so much, it was all she’d eat.

She even said that at times, she would attempt to starve her daughter to death to get her to eat something else. It never worked. Stacey would starve until a plump McNugget was jammed down her infantile throat.

The only real thing I took from this story … is it must take a huge pair of nuts to admit to the world that you attempted multiple times to starve your daughter to death.

If I would have known this is how it works .. I would have forced this same task upon my mother …

And enjoyed a steady diet of Dairy Queen Oreo Cookie Blizzards and hookers.

Speaking of which, earlier this week I posted a story about a hooker in Los Angeles who was giving blowjobs for nuggets in a McDonalds parking lot. These nuggets need further investigation.

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