Wealthy Business Man Adopts His Girlfriend

Hello, Woody Allen. You have some company.

If you remember, years and years ago, Woody Allen married his daughter. Granted, it was his step-daughter .. but it was still his fuckin’ daughter.

Now, John Goodman (not “Fat Awesome” from “Roseanne”), a 48 year old soggy balled rich dude, has adopted his longtime girlfriend.

She is 42 years old, so at least she isn’t older than her dad.

The adoption is a strategy to try to protect Mr. Goodman’s wealth from a lawsuit he’s in the middle of resulting from a previous car accident.

Goodman ran a stop sign and killed a man by the name of Scott Patrick. Patrick’s parents are suing.

Goodman has trusts for his children to which the money cannot be touched if he loses.

So naturally, he adopted his girlfriend so she get’s da’ monies.

Killing a man and adopting your girlfriend is quite the resume.

I will never party with John Goodman.

(Here is Goodman with his new daughter that he is most likely going to sodomize later)

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