Shopping At J.C. Penney Will Make You Gay

The anti-gay group “One Million Moms” is super pissed that J.C. Penney hired Ellen DeGeneres to be the companies new spokesperson.

The anti-gay super club wants Ellen fired, claiming that J.C. Penney is a family style orientated store and that ‘normal’ American families will stop shopping there when they learn that a woman who likes to stick it to beavers is on their commercials.

I can’t stand Ellen. It’s not because she is gay or anything else that would be considered mean.

For some fucked up reason, when she dances, I get super bad anxiety. There is just something about it I can’t watch.

Regardless, Ellen’s talk show is one of the most popular in the nation, and her being their spokesperson will only help business.

When Elton John sang the theme song for “The Lion King”, parents didn’t freak out and wonder if the male lions were gonna all start fuckin’.

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