The Evil Dead Remake Follows All The New Rules

Why does every God damn horror movie have to have a female lead? EVERY single God damn ONE!

There is one thing that is always certain. A female will always walk away comatose as the credits fall with a blood soaked shirt and nipple hard-ons.

The beloved movie The Evil Dead has been in the ‘remake’ status for quite some time now.

In the original, it was cult movie hero “Ash” played by Bruce Campbell that survived the ordeal (all 3 movies).

Now, after Lily Collins has dropped out of the role of the female lead, she has been replaced by Jane Levy.

Someday there will be a horror movie, where 10 people go to a cabin. Three dudes and seven chicks (that’s a party).

In the end, the three dudes will be the only ones that survive, and this would be considered SHOCKING to critics and viewers everywhere.

Jane Levy, you are hot, but you are no Bruce Campbell.

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