Three new movies were released this week. Let’s see how they did. I will also give you a brief description of what the film is about.
1. Chronicle – $22 million
It’s a “found footage” film. It’s all the rage. A bunch of kids run around masturbating and throwing trucks at gas stations with their minds.
2. The Woman In Black – $21 million
Two pictures in a row of a dude holding his hand up.
I saw this movie. It’s terrific. See it. It’s scary, suspenseful and has a great story line.
It takes about 15 minutes and you forget you’re watching Harry Potter masturbate all over everything.
3. The Grey – $9.3 million
The Grey dropped a few spots. Liam Neeson is under fire from PETA for admitting that in order to prepare for his role, he ate wolf meat in some stew.
Fuck Peta. Eat Wolf.
4. Big Miracle – $7.7 million
This movie is about Drew Barrymore trying not to look like she has Downs Syndrome for 90 minutes.
She fails.
5. Underworld: Awakening – $5.5 million
Kate Beckinsale wakes shit up in the Underworld by wearing tight leather.
Drew Barrymore looks like she has Downs Syndrome.
6. One For The Money – $5.2 million
7. Red Tails – $4.7 million
8. The Descendants – $4.5 million
9. Man On A Ledge – $4.3 million
10. Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close – $3.8 million