Karl Lagerfeld, who I believe has something to do with the brand name “Chanel”, has come out and said that Adele is “too fat”.
Now, as rude as that is, Adele is fat.
She is also gorgeous, talented, compassionate and has a lot more money than me. It’s nice to see someone break the stereotype and ‘make it’ based off of talent, and now how much her ass ‘pops’ or how nice her tits look while she’s dancing around lip-syncing to programmed, processed drum beats.
Adele issued a statement, and I was super excited to hear what she had to say. Naturally, she took the high road, expressing that she has no desire to be a super model.
How do you not find ONE thing to say about someone who bags you, when they look like this? (Lagerfeld pictured below)
You look like a severed dick that got rolled around in a bag of crunched up Nacho Cheese Doritos.
You look like every futuristic Saturday Night Live character that they have EVER made fun of.
You look like you’re completely made of nipples.
You look like “that guy” who sits on a park bench offering little kids candy.
You look like a sun tan that just got ass raped.
(Takes a deep breath)
Adele, you are welcome. We can both sleep better tonight about this.