Since joining Twitter, I must say, the most disappointing thing about it .. is Rihanna.
It’s not because she is collaborating with her ex-boyfriend that mashed her face up, it is because she always seemed so sweet, soft and well spoken.
I just never really pictured someone who seemed so cute and fuzzy, talking like the crack mom from Boyz In The Hood.
Here are some of Rihanna’s finest adventures in grammar.
” Happy birthday my nigg”
(I think that is British for “Lad”)
“Fuck deleted 1 too many! #420”
“I’m being cyber bullied by ———->@JuhReeV”
(Rihanna disagrees with a fan’s anger towards her sex tweeting with Chris Brown. I’m sure Rihanna just got that girl killed by “accident”)
“all on da papa…Lemme grab my d*ck while ya sit on top!”
(I can’t be sure, but I think she just fucked her dad)
“I be high, but my lows keep a nigga humble”
(When she smokes pot she tries to remember she’s not better than you)
I had no idea she was so gangsta? I have no doubt that if fools step to her, they bound to get whacked … or they’ll punch her in the face a few times. Here’s more …
” I’m eatin Mc’Dz err night!!!! “
(I ate Mc’Dz err night, once. Then I took off my helmet, swallowed my pills and went to bed)
” *blank stare* *blinks 2ce* *keeps staring* *goes back to dancin to my hood music*”
(I bet you do, enjoy your juice)
“Fuck a blog dawg, cus one day we gon’ meet”
“Go head talk shit…its all in da paper!!! Lemme grab my dick while ya sit on top!!!”
(She grabs her dick a lot)
“Save that bullshit for the birds!”
(Everyone knows birds love bullshit)
“U want beef?!”
(Eh, I would love some)
“No one on da corner has swagga like us!!!”
(My friends don’t hang out on corners “swagging”)
“Really LA???!!! Where’s the Sun?? Little Miss Sunshine needs some Vit D! Dark skin girls so lucky!!!”
(Said the white Rihanna)
“That wudda been so much sweeter if it was the correct spelling”
(That officially makes none of your tweets, sweet)
“Stay scheming….Niggaz tryna get @ me!!!”
(Maybe they’re birds? Offer them some bullshit)
Then she posted a picture of her foot today to show off her swaggy shoes. It was a protected picture, which is unfortunate …
Because I’m pretty sure it was Betty White’s foot spray painted black.
Enjoy ur swaggy birfday cake.