Midgetspar’s top 10 celebrity crushes. Outside of a few girls, you may see a developing theme here.
BOOBS. I like ‘em.
That pun was intended.
Counting down from 10. Here we go, cunts …
10. Sofia Vergara
More known for the television show “Modern Family”, I noticed this buxom feline when she was presenting and accepting awards.
She is HILARIOUS which is super attractive .. and she has big boobs. I like ‘em.
9. Scarlett Johansson
This crush is based strictly off sexuality and boobs.
Johansson seems like she would be a total raspy-voiced bitch in real life.
Outside of getting the extremely limited supporting cast role in the Iron Man/Avenger’s films, it’s obvious Scarlett’s tits are what keep her employed.
Running through her IMDB resume’ is just one bomb after another. BUT … she’s got nice boobs, and I wanna lick ‘em.
8. Christina Hendricks
“Mad Men” starlet, Christina Hendricks has a chest that I’d like to get deserted on and never come up .. even with possibly facing starvation.
Recently some cell phone pics were released of her. One had full on pink nips, but she denies that they are her tittay’s. She admits the other 5 are her though.
She should claim those fat sexy bitches and work on a sex tape, next. She is a gorgeous full-figured woman, and I love her boobs.
7. Lacey Chabert
“Mean Girls” is when I first decided I wanted to bone Chabert. She is more notably known for “Party of Five”, but sodomizing her back then would have been SUPER illegal.
She makes a shit ton of straight-to-Dvd shitty B movies now, but I’ll still watch them.
She has that rare cross of sexy, sweet, nerd .. and I like her boobs.
7. Megan Fox
A NON-BOOB CRUSH!
I know the whole world is in love with her face and body .. but it’s the other things that grab my attention with Megan Fox.
She has a foreign erotic quality about her as long as she doesn’t open her mouth and talk.
If someone cut her tongue out, I would almost consider marrying her if it weren’t for the terrible Beejay’s she would probably give.
You may remember Fox as the shitty actress from the first two Transformers and Jennifer’s Body.
RIP Megan Fox’ career. But we hope to see you in Playboy REAL SOON.
5. Katy Perry
And I don’t even feel bad about it. I can’t stand her songs, but she has that “Neighbor next door you could probably trick into doing anal” kinda vibe about her.
She’s probably got a good 3 years left on her popularity train she’s sharing with Lady Gaga right now .. so sadly .. until we have a wardrobe malfunction or a sex tape (COME ON, RUSSELL BRAND) we’re stuck with mounds of heaping cleavage, spaced out stupid facial expressions, and super shitty music.
4. Kat Dennings
Dennings is quirky, cute and funny. Her boobs are FANTASTIC. I have a pretty decent sized crush on this bitch. If it wasn’t for her voice, she’d be battling for the top spot.
Unfortunately, when she talks, she sounds like Helen Keller having an orgasm.
(That would be a terrible sound)
Watch Dennings’ boobs on the show “Two Broke GIrls” with the mute on .. on whatever time and channel it is.
3. Kate Upton
When this woman walks, Japan gets nervous another earthquake is coming. Those babies sway back and forth like a fat kid on a jungle gym.
Upton, who I’m sure will start poorly acting in films soon, is more known as a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model.
When ever she gallops down a runway in lingerie, men rewind and slow play it over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over …. boobs.
2. Diora Baird
If you are a fan of the Cinema, Women, and Boobs … you know who Diora Baird is.
Her breasts have made A LOT of cameos. Even when she seems to get a decent role with dialogue, that shirt is coming off and those boobs will flop.
I find this woman sexy/gorgeous/sweet. That’s enough to land her at number 2 (Though I doubt she knows or would care).
You may have seen Baird’s boobs in:
Wedding Crashers, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre:The Beginning, Night of the Demons, and Young People Fucking.
If you haven’t, watch ‘em.
1. Zooey Deschanel
Totally legit. I love this woman. Nothing to do with boobs, body, etc.
She is absolutely darling. She is the cutest thing I have ever seen in my life. If she clubbed baby seals I would probably get the image put on a t-shirt.
Her eyes are big and bright and scream “I’M FUCKING EMOTIONAL AND BAT SHIT CRAZY BUT YOU WON’T CARE FOR AT LEAST THE FIRST 6 MONTHS WE DATE” … and I wouldn’t. Not for at least 6 months.
I always have a “thing” … for the craziest bitches.