Creed: My Hollywood True Story

I saw a video that was made the other day that was so funny, I cried uncontrollably. It will be featured at the end of this post.

It is a dubbed version of Creed’s live Grammy performance where they were too good to play on the stage, but instead played to no crowed on the top of a billion foot building.

Trust me, regardless if you are a fan or not, you will find it funny.

THE RISE AND FALL OF CREED

In 1997 I was shopping for some shirts in a local shopping mall Zoomies, when I over heard a song on the radio. It caught my ear and I immediately liked it. I asked some employees and nobody knew who or what it was.

An hour later I discovered it was a song called “My Own Prison” by a new band called “Creed”. I purchased their CD and rather enjoyed it.

Am I still a fan? No. There are multiple reasons, one is that musical tastes evolve, the other is the main focus of this write up. Let’s point out a few reasons that Creed has become known as “Gay” or more fondly “Nickelback’s Bastard Child”.

When Creed first started, they were a fresh faced up and coming band that took pictures in warehouses wearing Polo stripped t-shirts. They gained far to much popularity, far to quick.

EXHIBIT A: When Egos Attack

This is how it all started. Nothing about this picture screams “Success”. I’m pretty sure their publicist was Alan Cumming, because this was totally unacceptable.

Nothing will ruin your career faster as a band than a “Look at our tits” glamour shot. And why is the bass player resting his head on the guitarist’s shoulder? This kinda shit began their downward spiral.

Not everyone is a fan of everything. You can like or dislike a band for whatever reason. If you are a fan of “Rancid”, you are probably going to think that “Maroon 5” sucks, and vice versa.

And that’s okay.

Let’s look at the Foo Fighters. They are a hit and miss band; people either love ’em or hate ’em …

… but they aren’t nationally loathed and mocked.

Band photo. “Hey look, my hands are in my pockets … we have bad porn ‘staches, and we’re just standing around in this junkyard or whatever.”

Acceptable band photo.

 

“Hey look. We’re Creed. We went to the Matthew Mcconaughey School Of Shirts and my drummer is trying to put it in my butt right now.”

I remember when Creed’s biggest critics use to only have “He sounds just like Eddie Vedder” as a complaint (Outside of just genuinely disliking that style of music).

When you chose to promote yourself that way, be prepared for the consequences.

Fans of Creed genuinely wont admit they are fans of Creed, now. Not with them blatantly flashing their tits around like they were on the all-star compilation of Girls Gone Wild.

“Hey Look, I’m Scott Stapp. I like to take my shirt off and try to make out with myself in the reflections of God’s sweet rain.”

Fail, buddy. I can’t even think of one reason anyone might have thought this was a good idea.

Even the little known band Harrison Parks has a better band picture ….

… and that can’t be a good thing.

Creed is releasing a new CD late this year, 2012. They are kicking off a new tour in April. They use to sell out amphitheaters, now they are hoping to draw crowds to concert halls.

No matter what happens, fellas, keep your God Damn shirts on.

Enjoy the funniest video I’ve seen in a few years.

UPDATE: Half an hour ago, on my Twitter account, I tweeted “Creed will be touring this summer. Just thought you assholes should know.”

I got a reply that read, “I LOVE CREED!”

I retweeted it so all my 200 followers could see it. She IMMEDIATELY deleted it.

Point made.

I win.

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