Weekend Box Office Top 10 March 30th-April 1st

1. The Hunger Games – $61.1 million

Even with two new releases, The Hunger Games takes the top spot.

It’s about this guy who lays on the ground with shit all over his face and he’s all like, “Bitch, come sit on my dick.”, and she’s all like, “I love bow and arrows!”, and he’s all like, “Bitch, I said sit on my dick!” and she’s all like …

“Let’s go to Lenny Kravitz’ house.”

2. Wrath Of The Titans – $34.2 million

The heart warming tale of a Demigod (half God, half human) running around trying to protect his mullet from white people with magical powers.

A must see for Billy Ray Cyrus fans.

3. Mirror, Mirror – $19 million

This classy film is about Julia Roberts wishing that either …

A) That Tom Hanks was in the film
B) Thinking (Wait, you’re not Kristen Stewart. Fuck! Wrong film!)
C) All of the above

4. 21 Jump Street – $15 million

5. Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax – $8 million

6. John Carter – $2 million

John Carter continues to tear up the box office. In fact, just yesterday, my friend said/asked, “Man, I can’t wait for John Carter to come out. Do you like pussy?”

I wasn’t quite sure how to answer it. But I know one of my answers was “Yes”.

7. Salmon Fishing In The Yemen – $1.2 million

Tagline: “If you want to watch Ewan McGregor fish with Muslims, have we got the film for you.”

In limited release this big budget blockbuster about “something” held it’s own in 483 theaters.

8. Act Of Valor – $1 million

9. A Thousand Words – $915,000

Eddie Murphy, a.k.a. “The Movie Killer”, has recently been cast in the sequel to the 1980’s movie “Twins” starring Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Apparently Arnold wasn’t as serious about his movie comeback as we all thought.

10. Journey 2: The Mysterious Island – $$835,000

This movie needs to drop out of the top 10. I hate typing it and it gives me anxiety.

The Rock just wrestled John Cena at Wrestlemania .. I hear the loser has to star in Journey 3.

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