“Aor! Aor!”. Yeah, seals, that’s how fuckin’ dumb you sound when you talk.
I just called my yellow grass Emo and it cut itself.
I just heard my neighbor yell, “I’m sick of it all! Sharks! Whales! Old Men! Turtles!” It must really suck to get fucked over by a turtle.
It’s only underwear if you have pants on , people. Don’t be afraid to troll town in nothing but your outerwear.
I think it would be kinda fun to listen to Sylvester Stallone tell a story with a mouth full of pudding.
Marshall Amplifiers creator Jim Marshall has sadly passed, which means my Topps ’68 Jim Marshall rookie card just quadrupled in value.
If I was a spider I would high five the shit out of people.
When guitar players close their eyes I always get nervous that they fell asleep.
Hamburgers are everybody’s business. You remember that shit.
I started reading the Bible when I was 6 and I’m only on page 2.
I’m too lazy to spell check a word. I’ll just sit here until I figure out a different word that means the same fuckin’ thing.
Grape Vines are terrible places for deaf people to hang out.
Nobody will ever love you like Sloth loved Chunk.
If anyone wants to play hacky sack with me later I’ll be in 1985.