1. The Hunger Games – $33.5 million
Okay, I have been giving plot details the last few weeks on this movie. I’ve actually seen it, now. So here is a more specific actual summary of “The Hunger Games”.
So this girl is all “Pick me! Pick me!” and this white faced bitch is all like, “Aight?’ Then she gets on a train to go to Lenny Kravitz’ house.
Then a bunch of kids have orgies in the woods and kill each other with dirty looks and finger snaps until there is only one pregnant bitch left (or pregnant man, there are no spoilers here at midgetspar.com).
There is this guy with really cool facial hair who beats off a lot while he eats iced muffins, he’s pretty cool.
In the end, they just wanna go back to Lenny Kravitz’ house.
2. American Reunion – $21.5 million
This movie had a decent open, but I’m positive it will quickly fall into the waste of shit. They are telling the same jokes over and over.
He beats off into a sock and his old magazines have pages that stick together, hahahahahahahahahaha!
3. Titanic 3D – $17.3 million
Ohhhh, you can almost see a nipple, guys!
A lot of people suffering from “Cinema Envy” are complaining about this re-release.
Truth is, Titanic is a good fucking movie. It’s not one of the top films of all-time for nothing. There are so many movies that get re-released for no reason that people don’t say shit about.
It would be fun to watch that boat sink in 3D. Quit complaining. Even on a business stand point, it only cost $8 million to convert this movie to 3D, and they’ve already turned over 100% increase in profit.
Haters gonna hate, Alligators gonna alligate.
4. Wrath Of The Titans – $15 million
5. Mirror, Mirror – $11 million
6. 21 Jump Street – $10 million
7. Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax – $5 million
8. Salmon Fishing In The Yemen – $975,000
9. John Carter – $820,000
John Carter (pictured above) is about making a huge budget movie that looks like 100 other movies that have been released before, naming it something extremely stupid .. like John Carter (pictured above) .. then watching your money go down in flames.
10. Safe House – $581,000