If I could kill people with dirty looks and finger snaps, I would be the least feared serial killer of all-time.
Hamster Jesus would take the wheel and run with it.
I can tell religion jokes ’cause I have a black friend.
I need to get rich so I can fulfill my lifelong dream of being wasted and playing Zoo Tycoon everyday.
If eyeballs were testicles, crying would impregnate a lot of bitches.