1. Think Like A Man – $17.6 million
Fuck Chris Brown and fuck these assholes for putting him in a movie.
That’s what this movie is about. Me hating the fact Chris Brown is in it for a good two hours.
2. The Pirates! Band Of Misfits – $11.1 million
This movie is about Pirates and I’m sure those two retards, Wallace and Grommit, will make an appearance.
They seem to show up in any movie ever made by 14 year olds who like molding clay.
3. The Hunger Games – $10.8 million
4. The Lucky One – $10.8 million
I’m pretty sure this is a movie about people trying to make us believe that Zac Efron could survive more than two days if he was in a war.
Nope.
5. The Five Year Engagement – $10.6 million
I saw this movie. It’s cute. Jason Segel co-wrote it so you pretty much know the characters will have good development. Chris Pratt and Allison Brie are fucking amazing in it.
It’s safe to wait for rental. Nothing blows up.
6. Safe – $7.8 million
If you like trying to understand Jason Statham when he whispers to people for 90 minutes .. have we got the film with you!
He probably kicks people in the face. Just a guess.
7. The Raven – $7.2 million
This is the movie I wanted to see instead of “Engagement”, but I’m a father who has a daughter and I lose these battles every time.
Every …. time.
8. Chimpanzee – $5.2 million
Look, monkeys. Fuck you.
9. The Three Stooges – $5.1 million
10. Cabin In The Woods – $4.6 million