Look At That Little Fuckin’ Fat Kid

“I cannot control the way you perceive my words. I can only control the intent behind which they were written.” – Me, about 8 months ago

Life needs a Captain Crunch decoder pen for all those moments when a joke meant without harm comes across as a slip of the tongue to others. Tell a joke, size up their reaction, hand them the pen, and say, “Figure it out, you dumb mother fucker.”

Outside of the standard misconceptions, people look for reasons to be offended, these days. How self-richeous it must make one feel to claim they called out a bigot, today.

You’re not a hero, my friend. You’re a fucking nonsensical moron with no sense of humor who has jumped on the “better-than-art-thou” brigade.

A simple example:

If you’re walking down the street and you see a kid who’s in shape and handsome and you say, “Look at that little fuckin’ fat kid,” I assure you 9 out of 10 people will giggle and say, “What? They aren’t fat?”

Point at a fat kid and say, “Look at that little fuckin’ fat kid,” and you are an INSTANT villain.

You cruel, heartless, son of bitch.

The unfortunate part in all this, is that “Look at that little fuckin’ fat kid” is super fun to say. Try it. Out loud. It’s funny … and it’s not my fault that kid is fat.

Is that picture funny to you?

If so, you’re a fucking asshole …

And you and I will get along just fine.

You can follow Midgetspar on Twitter at @Midgetspar

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