The Pursuit of Happiness
I’ve reached an age where people no longer ask what I would like to do “when I grow up.” I don’t know why that is or what this means, as I consider myself far off from being in this place. So, I’ll tell you. I am in pursuit of happiness.
I would like to learn to play guitar, for a small crowd in some insignificant place, say of 30 people. I want to sing drunken lyrics from a rooftop Villa in Italy, until I laugh into hysterics and likely fall right off. I want to take a trip, with my brother, just like the one we did when I was 19 years old. I want to fall in love, and be the girl who rests her hand on the face of an angel, and be the one they can live without, but would never want to. I want to study law for the mere purpose of interest and personal knowledge. I want to help bring an animal into the world. I want to plant many more trees in my lifetime. I want to sleep in my hammock, still 40 years from now. I never want to lose the passion I have for water, or the every day beauty of the sun as it rises and falls. I’d like to be five again, if only for a day, and live that feeling of love, no worry or fear. I want the most magnificent creature I know, my Mom to know I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for her teachings, patience, and love. I want to write a book, perhaps some poetry, even if it’s never published. I want to live a life without regret, fear or indecision. I want to find peace in battles within me that I cannot control, and never lose the ability to run. I want to be a Mom. I want to surround myself with people who bring me more joy than is possible to conceptualize. I want to never know a day without laughter.
I just want to know, at the end of my life that at least, I tried…in my pursuit of happiness.
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