Guest Blogger (Kind Of A Smart Ass: A Road Trip To Forget)

A Road Trip To Forget

The beginning of any relationship is always most fragile. I don’t
think people hide who they are as much as they try to ease the other
person into it. I truly believe there are things that you should
never be comfortable doing around your significant other. This is a
story about one of those things.

A few months into dating my ex girlfriend, we decided to get away
together. Nothing too extravagant, but a much needed break. We
settled on an extended weekend in Nashville. A short 8 hour drive,
and we would be talking with a twang and singing about pick-up trucks
in no time.

On the way down to Nashville, we stopped for lunch. A few hours
later, digestion had occured and nature was starting to call. I’m
stuck in a car with a woman. What do I do? Where do I go?

We were not that far from our destination, so I decided to hold out
until we made it to our hotel. After checking in, going up to our
room, and pretending like it was the most amazing hotel room I had
ever seen, I could hold out no longer. I had to take care of

She started to unpack her things, and I needed to get away. This
wasn’t like being at home. I could not escape to the bathroom
farthest away from everything. We were practically in the same room,
separated by nothing but a thin wall. I turned the tv on to try and
provide some audio camoflauge.

I slipped away to the bathroom and unleashed the fury as gentlemanly
as I could. I did a pretty good job. Quickly and quietly, and a
pretty good chance of not bringing too much attention to what had just
happened. Or so I thought, until I realized that the toilet was not

Are you fucking kidding me?? I can’t walk out and just leave this
sitting in there. There was no water in the tank, and no valve to
turn to fix the situation. After standing there in shock for a few
minutes, I had to go out and face the inevitable. I had to tell her
what was going on, and the we needed to get maintenance called and up
here pronto.

My face was beyond red, and I was thoroughly embarrassed. Only a few
short months into our relationship and I had already done the one
thing that men hate doing around a woman. I was married for ober 8
years, and never had my ex wife that close to me while I used the

The maintenance man came up handled things, as her and I sat there
awkwardly on the bed. We thanked him for his help, and quickly
figured out something to go see as a way of getting out of the room.

I still keep in touch with this ex girlfriend. Almost 5 years later,
and this part of the trip has never been spoken of again. I wish I
could forget it just as easily.

You can follow Kind Of A Smart ass on Twitter at @KindOfASmartass

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