Tag Archives: headline

Boom! Smack! Pow! Zap!

I’m not shitting you, this is the real deal. A Batman impersonator has been hired to patrol a Brazilian crime-ridden town. That bitch is as good as DEAD. Things have gotten so bad, that cops hope Batman can help combat … Continue reading

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Pig Fucking Is Surprisingly Illegal In Oklahoma

Jimmy “Hawkeye” Jeter got caught on video fucking a “show pig”. Here’s the article. It’s pretty outstanding. “A 77-year-old man in southern Oklahoma has been charged with a crime against nature in connection with an incident in which he allegedly … Continue reading

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The X-Files: Mexican Edition

35 sheep have mysteriously died in Paracuaro, Mexico. The residents are furious and know exactly who to blame. Their God damn local WInged, Fanged, Chupacabra. They need to look into exterminating this little shit head ASAP. Chupacabra’s have been terrorizing … Continue reading

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Jurassic Park May Soon Be A Reality

Did Jeff Goldblum Not Teach Us Anything? Scientists believe they have found a way to clone extinct animals. I know how this works. First they find a mosquito that has been frozen in tree sap for over a billion years … Continue reading

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How To Score A Paid Vacation

Two janitors from Gregory Elementary School in Long Beach, NJ., allegedly bound and gagged two 10-year-old students with tape in the bathroom and took pictures of them. The school deemed the act was not done with malice … and took … Continue reading

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“Smart” People Study The Stupidest Shit

A study has just been concluded on why people really have a fear of spiders. Hundreds of thousands of dollars of grant money and months of time go into this shit. Watch this … They are creepy as fuck, have … Continue reading

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Crippled People Make Shitty Criminals

John Christopher Champion, 22, has been charged with armed robbery and aggravated battery. He could not be charged with “legged” robbery. What’s worse? He’s fucking disabled. Champion went cruising into a Chevron Mini Mart in Cheifland, Florida, on his pimp-ass … Continue reading

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Look, A Big Lobster. Holy Shit.

A gigantic 27lb Lobster was just caught by a fisherman out “shrimping” (that’s when you suck shit out of someone’s butt with a straw) on the East Coast. This has Marine Experts baffled. Apparently, these experts aren’t aware .. that … Continue reading

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CSI: WISCONSIN – Denny’s Edition

How crazy hungry do you have to be to dress up in a coat and tie, walk into a Denny’s (of all fucking places), pretend like you’re the new General Manager … and try to cook your own burger and … Continue reading

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The Half N’ Half TIME Magazine Mystery

TIME Magazine thinks that the Latino/Hispanic community will decide the upcoming election (pending on how many are legal, of course). Eh, whatever. The REAL story that emerged, was that out of all the faces on the cover … the man … Continue reading

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