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Tag Archives: headline
Boom! Smack! Pow! Zap!
I’m not shitting you, this is the real deal. A Batman impersonator has been hired to patrol a Brazilian crime-ridden town. That bitch is as good as DEAD. Things have gotten so bad, that cops hope Batman can help combat … Continue reading
Pig Fucking Is Surprisingly Illegal In Oklahoma
Jimmy “Hawkeye” Jeter got caught on video fucking a “show pig”. Here’s the article. It’s pretty outstanding. “A 77-year-old man in southern Oklahoma has been charged with a crime against nature in connection with an incident in which he allegedly … Continue reading
The X-Files: Mexican Edition
35 sheep have mysteriously died in Paracuaro, Mexico. The residents are furious and know exactly who to blame. Their God damn local WInged, Fanged, Chupacabra. They need to look into exterminating this little shit head ASAP. Chupacabra’s have been terrorizing … Continue reading
Posted in News, Headlines and Politics
Tagged Chupacabra, headline, Heath Ledger, Mexico, sheep, stupid
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Jurassic Park May Soon Be A Reality
Did Jeff Goldblum Not Teach Us Anything? Scientists believe they have found a way to clone extinct animals. I know how this works. First they find a mosquito that has been frozen in tree sap for over a billion years … Continue reading
Posted in News, Headlines and Politics
Tagged cloning, headline, Jurassic Park, scientists, stupid, zoo
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How To Score A Paid Vacation
Two janitors from Gregory Elementary School in Long Beach, NJ., allegedly bound and gagged two 10-year-old students with tape in the bathroom and took pictures of them. The school deemed the act was not done with malice … and took … Continue reading
Posted in News, Headlines and Politics
Tagged Gregory Elementary, headline, janitors, kids, stupid
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“Smart” People Study The Stupidest Shit
A study has just been concluded on why people really have a fear of spiders. Hundreds of thousands of dollars of grant money and months of time go into this shit. Watch this … They are creepy as fuck, have … Continue reading
Posted in News, Headlines and Politics
Tagged arachnophobia, fear, headline, phobia, spiders, study, stupid
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Crippled People Make Shitty Criminals
John Christopher Champion, 22, has been charged with armed robbery and aggravated battery. He could not be charged with “legged” robbery. What’s worse? He’s fucking disabled. Champion went cruising into a Chevron Mini Mart in Cheifland, Florida, on his pimp-ass … Continue reading
Posted in News, Headlines and Politics
Tagged Chevron, Disabled, headline, Josh Champion, Robbery, stupid
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Look, A Big Lobster. Holy Shit.
A gigantic 27lb Lobster was just caught by a fisherman out “shrimping” (that’s when you suck shit out of someone’s butt with a straw) on the East Coast. This has Marine Experts baffled. Apparently, these experts aren’t aware .. that … Continue reading
Posted in News, Headlines and Politics
Tagged east coast, headline, Huge Lobster, stupid
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CSI: WISCONSIN – Denny’s Edition
How crazy hungry do you have to be to dress up in a coat and tie, walk into a Denny’s (of all fucking places), pretend like you’re the new General Manager … and try to cook your own burger and … Continue reading
Posted in News, Headlines and Politics
Tagged arrest, Denny's, headline, James Summers, Wisconsin
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The Half N’ Half TIME Magazine Mystery
TIME Magazine thinks that the Latino/Hispanic community will decide the upcoming election (pending on how many are legal, of course). Eh, whatever. The REAL story that emerged, was that out of all the faces on the cover … the man … Continue reading
Posted in News, Headlines and Politics
Tagged cheech and chong, chinese, election, headline, hispanics, mexicans, TIME Magazine, votes, white
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